Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
