You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Less talking, more tequila
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
