apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
