worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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