..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
