I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
