Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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