this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
