C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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