My hair reeks of homosexuality.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
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I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
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I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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