I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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