the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
