My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
