margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
