nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
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