My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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