Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
