well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I could fuck to npr.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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