So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Houston, we have a blender
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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