thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
