I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
