we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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