i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
You ruined the universe
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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