WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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