She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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