I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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