I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
