just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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