I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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