just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
