He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Randomize
