Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
