not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Randomize
