i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
