Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
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