Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
