worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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