His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
