After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
