it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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