Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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