I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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