Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
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Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
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Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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