Quick, to the slutcave!
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
