But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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