Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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