Barsexuality is the new black.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
