Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
