new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
You made out with two different species that night
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Randomize
