I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
