I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
