how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
