he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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