I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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