She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
