i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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