It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
