talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
