After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize